“The sensitiveness to noise persists. I always seek silence. I am a bundle of opposites and can only endure myself when I observe myself as an objective phenomenon.”
~C. G. Jung, Letters Volume 2, p.78
Jung’s words resonate deeply.
He’s pointing to the inner stillness we need in order to truly hear ourselves.
Noise, whether from the outer world or the tangle of our own thoughts,
can overwhelm the subtle voice of the soul.
Silence, for me, is a refuge. A sacred pause.
A place where I can withdraw from the chaos, reflect without judgment, and re-center in what is real.
Jung also wrote, “I am a bundle of opposites and can only endure myself when I observe myself as an objective phenomenon.”
That sentence has helped me make peace with my contradictions.
One of those contradictions lives in my relationship with food.
As a child often alone, food was comfort.
Not a struggle with weight, but with energy, presence, and emotional clarity.
Some foods grounded me physically while numbing me emotionally.
Later, awareness grew. I learned what substances dulled me, what nourished me.
But this too became a battleground:
between the free, comfort-seeking child and the health-conscious adult.
Over time, something softer emerged.
Today, I mostly eat in a way that sustains my clarity – low in sugar, high in vitality.
But I’ve kept a space for indulgence, for pleasure, for life’s sweetness.
Allowing here and there an “off-meal”, like a ritual, honors that part of me who longs for the joy of eating what is desirable without thinking about the consequences that will peobably come after – heaviness, or being less sharp and conscious.
This balance is less a battle than it used to be.
It’s an embrace of both opposites: discipline and delight.
And through it, I observe myself holding those contradicting wishes.
To see myself, as Jung says, “as an objective phenomenon”, is to relate to my humanity with more compassion, not to detach from it.
It reminds me that the work is not to be perfect,
but to stay present with the tensions inside me.
To hold them with curiosity and hope, so that something more whole is being created.
These opposites – silence and chaos, health and indulgence, strength and vulnerability –
are not flaws. They are the raw material of transformation.
Hopefully my ability to observe them is part of what allows me to help others observe their own.
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