The Alchemy of Connection

What happens when two people truly meet, soul to soul?

Carl Jung once wrote that the meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: “if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”

In Mysterium Coniunctionis, Jung writes: “What happens between man and woman in actuality, or between analyst and analysand, is something that lies in a third realm, outside the individual.” That “third” is the living field created between souls – a space of rejuvenation and transformation.

Every meaningful relationship becomes such a vessel. But Jung warns: “No one can become conscious of the unconscious without becoming more conscious of himself.” To truly touch another, we must allow ourselves to be touched.

This is why real connection demands vulnerability. It is not enough to influence – we must be willing to be influenced. To look into another and allow them to look into us.

In alchemy, the coniunctio – the sacred union – is often represented by the image of the king and queen uniting in the vessel. This union involves heat, dissolution, conflict, and surrender. Likewise, our encounters with others stir what is unconscious in us – our fears, projections, shadows – but also our depths, divinity, and potential of wholeness.

Jung writes that such processes are “neither rational nor entirely under our control, but belong to the autonomous functioning of the psyche.” That is why relationships often feel both miraculous and maddening – they bypass our conscious intentions and activate the depth of the psyche .

To connect is to be willing to be changed.
To love is to agree to let part of ourselves die, and be born.

And yet, as Jung reminds us, “Only in the process of individuation, which is also a process of relationship, can we truly become ourselves.” In other words: we do not become who we are alone. We become ourselves in the fire of encounter, in the mystery of meeting, in the alchemy of connection.

Let us approach each other as evolving mysteries, not as fixed identities.
Let us enter the vessel, and allow the reaction to occur.
We may never be the same again.